Philosophical Opinion

Although perhaps I'm just not looking at the situation in the right light. I think it's completely strange to most Swedes the idea that I fully expect to have a wedding ring eventually. And I expect to have my husband's last name. I'd also never plan to have a kid unless I was married.

To me marriage is a forever thing. I wouldn't just jump into a marriage because I got knocked up. It'd have to be really thought out and stuff. If I get married I want to be sure the guy is willing to put effort into making it last. It isn't just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing that if it goes away, not the end of the world. Marriage is special. It's a promise that both parties will respect each other and do their best to make things work and make the other happy.

Things have changed a lot since my mom got married though. Her marriage vows had that she would obey my dad. Mine would never have that. But my mom is from a different generation. Even though she knows I pretty much lived with David last year, she still says if he comes over, he stays in the guest room. No daughter of hers will sleep in the same room as a boy unless they're married while under her roof. I teased her about it, but I don't think she'd feel comfortable backing down. I wouldn't force the issue either. It is her home. It just means she won't likely see a lot of the two of us there.

I was talking to Peter today and he says marriage is just a way to oppress women. I disagree. I don't see it as such. I see it as a way for two people to promise and make a commitment to each other. If you're just living together, how can you just have kids without really making sure you both plan to stick around long enough to raise them. Yea, a lot of marriages break up, but that's why you live with each other for awhile first. I guess maybe the taking of the last name of the guy could be considered oppression, but if you've always expected to give up your name, it doesn't mean as much.

I guess this whole conversation came up today with Indiana drafting a new bill making it so if you're not married, you don't get to be a mother. (through medical help to become pregnant I think).

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2005/10/3/213554/300

is the full article about it. It is really pretty silly. But I guess it shows the values in my society. I still have a lot of the values myself. I wonder if this makes me unfit for Sweden? :P