I don't wanna!

I don't want to study! I don't want to write any papers! I don't want to answer study questions! I don't even want to read my textbooks! Despite my dislike, I've been doing just that all day. I've written a short paper, read another 100 pages in a book, read some articles for another class, and I still have lots to do still. I have some journal articles I have to write for my political theory class. I need to find another Iran article for my crossing boundaries class. I need to write out answers to my study guide for that class. I have three chapters to read for my international economics class. I also have another chapter to read for my child development class. Ick!

I've got to admit though, one of the articles I read really got me thinking. My Crossing Boundaries class is about feminism and modernization. I read an article by Ursula LeGuin about language. She explains that there is a father tongue that is used by men and by official society. It is a language designed to show superiority and to argue and to state the facts. She says that society puts too much weight on this and not enough on the mother tongue. This is the language of experience, of sharing, of friendship. She says that guys don't do this. It was quite interesting really. I have a few quotes and my opinions on them to share as well.

Keeping house is not considered work by the American culture. "Do you work? - and she, having stopped mopping the kitchen and picked up the baby to come answer the door, says, No, I don't work." Argh! How can that not be considered work? If she did not stay home and do that, then someone else would have to be paid. This whole industry of child caring, home keeping, and cooking is invisible labor. It has no value in today's society. But today's society is designed on past societies. This means it is a man's world. "Most men are prevented form housework by intense cultural bias; many women actually hire another woman to do it for them because they're scared of getting trapped in it, ending up like the women they hire." Whenever I read things like that, I'm happier and happier that I have David and not some American guy. Granted I think this was written quite awhile ago, but you can still see it today.

"Freud famously said, "What we shall never know is what a woman wants," Having paused thoughtfully over the syntax of that sentence, in which WE are plural but "a woman" apparently has no plural, no individuality - as we might read that a cow must be milked twice a day or a gerbil is a nine pet - WE might go on then to consider whether WE know anything about, whether WE have ever noticed, whether WE have ever asked a woman what she does - what women do." I can't say much about that quote, but that it made me think.

"The failed woman - the old maid, the barren woman, the castrating bitch, the frigid wife, the lezzie, the libber, the Unfeminine." This puts into words in a way that women fear this. If they aren't a happy family, does that make them a failure? I sometimes think society does think this way.

I see in this course though an image of feminism as man hating. The article stressed how men should not be trusted. I wonder if there is feminism out there that doesn't involve women acting like men. Women can still be women and get equal pay and equal rights. But that does not excuse anyone, man or woman, of slamming doors in other people's faces. It does not excuse being kind to others. Any woman who takes it as an insult if a man helps her open a door, change a tired, or collect dropped items should be dropped on her head!

Ahhh...

Well... week 1 of school over. 15 weeks to go. Tonight I am just going to take it easy. Perhaps study a bit. I definitely need to study. Tomorrow I will study all day. I have lots to do before next week.

Oh. I mailed David two letters today. One is my transcript the other my expected graduation date. It will be interesting to see how long it takes to get there. They were supposed to be there by February 1st. Somehow I don't think they'll make it. They might though! If the postoffices work well together then the letters might get there by Monday or Tuesday... Then David might have time Tuesday of Wednesday to take them to the admissions office. Then they'll be there by closing time on the 1st. I REALLY hope that happens! We'll see though. Nothing more I can do now that I've mailed them. And I got them into the mail box before they picked up mail for today. That might help. If I can get the mail moving during the weekend rather than sitting in a box somewhere the letters stand a chance of actually getting there on time!

Friday is here at last!

I'm done with classes for the week and I have only 4 more hours of work!

I've decided that this long grain rice is NOT as easy to cook as the Jasmine rice. So I'll be going back to the stuff that I can boil and still have it taste good. And korv strogonoff does not taste quite the same with hotdogs as it does with falukorv.

Speaking of food... I've invited my mom over for dinner, not this weekend but the next. This gives me a week to decide what I want to make for her. Somehow I don't think frozen pizzas will do it. ;) I told her she has to bring her own chair since we have /1/ kitchen chair. The other three are in pieces and I'm too lazy to put them together. Maybe I could make a taco pie. I don't think my mom has ever had that. I'll have to search the internet for a recipe and instructions.

It definitely looks like my life will be VERY busy this semester! Hopefully this will keep me busy enough that I won't think too much about how much longer it is until I get to go back to Sweden! Here are two links for whoever. ;)
Time until David Comes (June 15th)
Time until Sweden Movie (August 15th)
The dates aren't set in stone, but it is nice to at least have a date to look forward to!

Ballroom Dancing and a day off

Last night I had my very first ballroom dancing class. I've never seen a group of guys that nervous before. They were like cute little robots. I'm going to try really hard to stick with this class. It's late at night, but some of the social graces might be useful. We've learned the first few steps of swing dancing so far. I've managed to gracefully trip over my own feet a few times. They have us all dancing in socks so at least we can't crush each other's feet too badly. I need to get some shoes though, my feet hurt too much from dancing on wood all night. I miss my super padded running shoes that I wear as everyday sneakers!

Well, today is my day off of work. I've got 4 hours of school and that's it. I have a lot of things I want to get done this morning, but I don't think that they'll all happen. I was hoping to get two days of homework done, run to the store, spend time talking to David, and do 150 other things. I might settle for a bit of homework and talking to David. Although I did want to go to the store and buy some ground beef, some tomato paste, some dish soap, and whatever else I become attached to when there. Maybe a box of Kix cereal. I've had a craving for that recently.

Sometime this week/weekend I want to try making korv strogonoff. I guess that means I should buy an onion too. I have some hot dogs, which is the closest thing to falukorv I know of. I don't even know what tomato paste would look like here! My mom has informed me that strogonoff is NOT red and should not have tomatoes in it. I don't really care, I want to make it the Swedish way because I like that!

I'm amazed right now at my lack of free time. I wake up in the morning, check my email, study a bit, talk to David for maybe an hour if he's home, then head to school. I go to school/work for a few hours, run home for lunch, run back to school for more classes/work, run home for dinner/clothes change, then back to school again. Then home again. By the time I take a shower, make and eat dinner, and try to pick up the mess a bit it's my bedtime or past. I go to bed, try to finish a few chapters in whatever literature we'll be covering in class the next day, then sleep until morning. Then I wake up and repeat! My life is boring! *cry* :)

But then... then we have Thursdays! I am free until 12:30 when my first class starts. :) It's like Tuesday but without work!

Homework

I've managed to get through most of my reading for today. That last bit of homework that I need to do involves going to school and printing some stuff. My political theory class is going to be fun. I worked my way through 3 articles already. Two of them are by authors I already was familiar with. Morgenthau and Clautz (spelling?). There are something like 50-60 short articles from various sources in my textbook. I also have two required novels to read out of five. I've bought 3 so far because they seemed interesting and I'll probably get one more.

Work yesterday was relatively boring. Although I have learned how to make a pivot table with data that isn't actually inside Excel. External Data Sources baby! Ok, so I'm a bit crazy. I'm still waiting for my boss to write me back and let me know if I can come in an hour late today. Somehow I think I won't know until lunch if then. I might end up just going in at my planned time.

Some people write their blogs about important things, big life changing events in the world, or make interesting comments into the runnings of something. Then there is my blog. It's about whatever I'm thinking of at the time. It tends to be a response to the non existent question 'and so how was your day?' or perhaps 'what did you do today?' It's not well-written, it isn't filled with book quality material, it is just what I've done with myself. Occasionally you get rants where I am annoying at something.

Anyways, I think I'll go read the last bit in my Child Development chapter and the last article for my other class. After that perhaps I'll take a bit of time to just relax and collect fish in Animal Crossing: Wild World. I need relaxation time too, I just have to find time for it!

Today my mood is.... ARGH!!!

I hate dealing with petty little people and their red tape! I'm going to have to change the hours I work because my work has different regulations than the state. If I work 4 hours I have to take a lunch break. So that means that anytime I want to work 4 hours I 'm supposed to actually block 4.5 hours out of my day. No thanks. :P State regulations is for 6 hours you have to take a lunch break. I'm going to pretend that I thought I had to work MORE than 4 hours before taking a lunch break and change my plans a bit. On Tuesdays I'll start work an hour earlier, and on Wednesdays I'll start an hour later. It almost makes sense.

I went by records today... they haven't even made the fall grades official! So they haven't sent transcripts out yet! ARGH! They say there is no way that the transcript I ordered in December will be there before February 1st! They said I had a better chance of ordering a new one and hope that they finish them sometime this week... picking it up myself, and mailing it myself! So David will get lots of nice little letters from me sometime this week that I'll force him (at dagger point) to hand deliver for me.

My classes should be fun this term though. As long as I don't go crazy. If things start getting too crazy I'm just going to drop aerobics or ballroom dancing. Either that or I get rid of my Tuesday hours all together. We'll see what works out for the best.

Right now all I want to do is sleep, not go to another class. This one should be short though. I've sat through the intro 3 times already during my time in university. It shouldn't even use the whole hour. They'll tell us what we need, give us a piece of paper or too, then we'll go on with our lives. On Tuesdays I will make 3 separate bike trips to school. One for work, come home for lunch, back to school for 3 hours, then home for an hour and a half to change clothes, and then back to school for aerobics, then home again for the day. Ick! I guess I need the exercise?

First day over

Well, my first day of school ended and today will be my 2nd day. After surviving Mondays I feel like I can survive anything! It was a long day. Left home at about 8.15 or so. Went and spent a small fortune on books. 340 USD! And I haven't even bought them all yet! I got to my first class, Child Development, a bit before it started at 9. It's all girls, 18 girls. I guess guys don't have any care in the kids after they've finished the child creation part. I would expect guys to take the class because there are so many girls. It's a required class too, it replaces nutrition and a few other lifetime learning classes. You just need to take one. I figured this one fit into my schedule. And it's good that I took THIS Child Development class, we're right across the hall from the daycare. It's also known as the child observation lab.

After my first class I went straight to my second class. The class is a bit full. It is an absolutely required class for anyone majoring in International Relations. It cannot be changed for anything else, no alternatives. It's only offered once a year right now, although they're saying in the future that they will over it more often. It is going to require a LOT of reading and writing and I won't have any points really until I turn in my final project in May. The professor says that short of us stabbing ourselves in the foot, then tripping and falling, then impaling ourselves on our own sword, he doesn't expect any of us to fail. That's good since most of us are graduating seniors. That means this is our LAST chance. The class has like 60 people in it instead of the 25 that it's supposed to have. A lot of people are going to drop the class though. I know my friend will. If you don't HAVE to take it, don't. It's too much work.

After that class I ran home, made myself some pasta, then ate said pasta. I made enough originally, I thought, for lunch and dinner. But then I just felt hungry and ate it all. I figured I could buy dinner on campus later. After lunch I went to work. I got there and my boss goes, I don't have anything for you to do. Check your email and head on home. I then got abducted by another boss type person. I told her I was more than willing to do her filing and clerical stuff as long as she was willing to pay me for my time. At 9 bucks an hour it's still cheaper to have me move boxes around and organize papers than for her to do it herself. So I spent some time as an overpaid clerical assistant. My boss got back from lunch about the time that the new intern showed up. I did some training with him, had him move lots of computer stuff. I have a new 'office' now. Well, mostly it's just a little cubicle farther to the back, but it's still nice.

After work I went and bought a snack at the BMU. I then went and pestered the Honors department. They're trying to move furniture. So along with about 4 other bored students who showed up, we all gave helpful advice. Most of their advice was more helpful than mine.

I then went to class. It's a sign that I've been at this school for too long. I didn't recognize a single person in my class. I've NEVER had that problem since my first semester at Chico. The honors classes are offered with such a small group of students from each year that I usually know most of them. But most honors students have finished all of their honors requirements before the last semester. I'm just a bit slow. My last class is only once a week, but it means I have to sit still for 3 hours. The professor is one I dislike. She handed us 12 pieces of paper and half explained 4 of them. She jumps from topic to topic and never finishes anything. I would have been MUCH happier if she started at the top of one paper, explained it, then went to the next. Less jumping around means more things covered in a shorter amount of time. I left the class feeling like I STILL had no idea what was going on with our first few assignments. This class only has 4 small novels and a course packet that I need to buy.

When I got home I dragged my roommate grocery shopping. My argument was that we now have like 8 bottles of booze, 24 beers, and some other alcohol in the fridge... but NO food. I thought we needed more food to balance it out a bit more, hide some of the alcohol behind, etc. We spent quite a lot, but I just wanted to have food again. I finally got around to eating my dinner at 10:30pm last night. I went to sleep at about 11:30pm and managed, somehow, to stay asleep until 6:30am this morning. Pretty good.

So that was my day. Hopefully today is filled with easy classes! Wish me luck!

Forgotten good news

In my rush to write that long boring entry below, I seem to have forgotten to give you peoples really good news for my finances. My mom says she'll buy my ticket over to Sweden as a graduation present. She pointed out that a plane ticket to Europe is a normal present in our family. My brother and I both got one for our highschool graduations. This is an even bigger event. This takes 1500 off of my required expenses! I can get a ticket for less than that, but I had given myself that much just to be on the careful side. I'm going to go play with my excel spreadsheet and see how much I need at various exchange rates... BRB! :)

If you people remember way back when I used to actually remember to write about my trip (you know, what this blog was created for!) I decided that about 5000 SEK a month is a good amount. I've also calculated how much I need for 4800 and for 5200 per month. I've done that at various exchange rates.

Rate - SEK - 1 month - 12 months
7.66 - 5000 - 653 USD - 7833 USD ** Current Rate
7.00 - 5000 - 714 USD - 8571 USD
7.50 - 5000 - 667 USD - 8099 USD
8.00 - 5000 - 625 USD - 7500 USD
8.50 - 5000 - 588 USD - 7136 USD

Since I have 6,238 dollars saved up and will be getting 1500 in semester money as soon as the check arrives and my mom deposits it... I am doing so well! I started out with a goal I thought was impossible and I'm almost there! I've almost saved up enough money for 12 months of living expenses!

Today is also the first day of school. I have 9 hours that I'm either in class or at work today. That doesn't include the hour lunch break or the hour dinner break I gave myself. I have a 9 hour day, three 6 hour days, and one 8 hour day each week this semester. I'll be working 15 hours and going to class for 19 hours.

Oh, and my mom told me that I 'should be a tad more mercenary.' She thinks I should take all the money I can get from her this semester because I don't know how much I will be getting in the future. So I think that excuses me from helping my mom out with finances! I can keep almost all of the money I earn this semester now! Weee! Although since I don't have to buy my own plane ticket... I only need about 100 USD (yes, just a hundred) to have enough to survive for 12 months at the current exchange rate. Now I can work on surviving for a longer period of time and saving up some startup money. Be great if I could get like 500- 1000 USD of start up cash for things like buying a new bike.

Now off to slowly lag my way into the school's website to figure out when/where/what my classes are for this week.

LONG and BORING entry.

I'm actually writing this entry while offline. Been sitting at my apartment for the last 4 and a half hours without internet. I managed to get mostly unpacked before I got bored. I'll have internet again when my roommate gets here. Who the heck knows when that will be. Anyways, the rest of this entry is likely to be quite boring to most people, it's just me thinking in list form and posting it. I do that quite often. But wooo! I'm in the home stretch now for my move! Just have to finish one more semester of school/work and then I get to move to Sweden! I can't wait!

I've started talking to my mom about what else I need to do before I go. Mostly I just use her to bounce ideas off of. I've decided that just about anything that doesn't go to Sweden with me I'll need to make choices about.

Category A: If the item is not likely ever to go to Sweden (microwave, toaster, anything that plugs into the wall) it is going to be given to my mom. She can decide what to do with those things. Give them to my brother, store them, sell them, give them to any of her friends kids. I don't care at that point. I have a LOT of unused plug in things, but it isn't worth trying to make them work in Sweden. So that's one category of items.

Category B: Items that aren't likely to go over to Sweden anytime in the next few years but that I'm not ready to give up yet (if ever). This group contains things like my barbies, my victorian doll (complete with clothes and furniture), and my cheerleader uniform. I'm sure there are a lot of things I haven't found yet that fit into this category. Probably some of my favorite figurines from when I was a kid and such.

Category C: Things that wait until I have my own place with more space. This group is things like my nice dishes. And perhaps some of my hardback books. David's apartment just doesn't have the space or the need for things like this right now. Jenny has a lot of plates and such. Very durable. The kindest thing about the dishes David and Jenny have right now is that they sure as heck won't break easily! They're just basic IKEA student dishes. My fluffy blankets are in this category too. No need for them now or in the near future, but I like them too much to get rid of!

Category D: Things that will come over as soon as I have space in my luggage. This is mostly kitchen stuff. Some nice glass baking dishes and some of my pots and pans. It doesn't need to come over this trip or the next, but eventually it'd be nice.

Category E: Stuff that either needs to come over THIS trip. This is stuff like clothes, important documents, my computer, etc. Important things that I use often enough or are important enough to justify dragging across the ocean.

My mom reminded me that when I pack up my apartment this summer I'll need to carefully separate things and be sure the boxes are marked. A stuff will probably go up into the attic. B stuff is most likely NOT in my apartment right now. It's probably sitting in my closet and will remain there, perhaps a bit more organized. C stuff will be boxed up and probably put into my closet at my parents' place too. (It's a BIG closet, it currently has a dresser, a space heater, 8 boxes, and 2 chairs sitting on the floor.) D and E stuff will hopefully end up in either my bags or David's bags. Or else it will come over the next trip I make home.

I'm sure I'll change my classification system another 12 times before I leave. I just need to organize things a bit in my head. I still have 6-7 months before I move over there. Thank goodness David will be here in like 5 months! I don't think I could wait until the very end of summer to see him again!

Amazingly that thing only took me 15 minutes to type out. So much for killing an extensive amount of time with it. Maybe I'll go do something productive rather than just thinking about being productive. Like put my clothes away or make my bed... or heck, maybe pick up the books that have taken over the floor of my room.

Ok. I managed to spend 45 minutes organizing and sorting my books. I've gotten them up off of the floor now too. I also counted my books. I have 106 paperbacks and 9 hard backs that I like enough to want to bring over right away. I have 36 paperbacks that I'm not so attached to and might leave behind. Those are all just science fiction/fantasy. Besides those I have 54 romance novels. I figure I'll choose maybe 15-20 and abandon the rest. I have 12 hard backs that I'm leaving behind because I also have them in paperback. I have two paperbacks I'm leaving behind because I am missing one of the three books and I have one hardback book with all three inside, so going to bring the hardback instead (already added into the bring novels). I have 21 random books in paperback and hardback that are either swedish learning books with grammar or are otherwise special enough to bring. I also have 12 books that I'm planning on leaving in the states. That means that I currently have 250 books in my room at my apartment. And I have already mailed 7 kilos to Sweden, left several books there when I was there, probably have some books in my room that I haven't found, and I know I still have books at my parents. This might be a bit too many books to even mail! I'm going to have to make choices eventually! Have I mentioned before that I like books? It's 7pm and my roommate is still not here to give me internet. At this rate there is going to be one LONG entry by the time I do get internet again!

Plane Tickets!

I've started on my quest to buy plane tickets. It's a bit crazy trying to find the cheapest tickets that do what I want them to do. I have so many options. I can buy a one way ticket, I can buy a round trip and not use the other half, or I can buy a round trip ticket and try to set the return near Christmas just in case I want to use it.

Right now I'm leaning towards option 1 since I've found some ok tickets there. If I buy a student ticket I can get to Sweden for under 1000 USD in early to mid august. I can get a round trip with a return in October for less than 1200. I need to decide if it's worth the extra 200 USD to have a return ticket that I probably will not use.

Anyways, if anyone is bored. Need a ticket leaving from either SMF (sacramento) or RNO (reno). I want to be in Sweden by mid to late august at the latest. I could possible leave as early as late July. Return ticket doesn't matter much, feel free to experiment with dates. Oh, and the plane should hopefully land in ARN (stockholm). The tickets need to be booked all at the same time. No finding part of the ticket here and part there. If my flight is delayed or cancelled I want the next bit to work well. And the higher the luggage limit the better. I think that's all the information...

SMF or RNO to ARN
Leaves sometime between late July to mid August
Tickets booked all with the same website/company

Now I'm supposed to be packing to go back to my apartment today. ICK! I'd rather go back to Sweden!

Dinner

I had a nice family dinner tonight. We went out for my Dad's 50th bday. But somehow it ended up being about my bday too because one of my aunts wanted to eat the cake that came with it. She said it tasted quite good. :P I had a small glass of wine with it. First family dinner that I've /ever/ had alcohol with. My parents bought a bottle and I just asked for a glass as well. Everyone was all shocked until they remembered I have been old enough for quite some time!

I mailed my first M-bag today. 15 lbs 8 oz. Cost me 15.20 USD. This batch was mostly text books and other nicer books. Paperbacks weigh a lot less.

I STILL haven't managed to get much packing done. I ended up washing clothes and such instead.

Our cat can now open closed doors. We have doors that open by pushing a handle down. He's discovered if he jumps up his weight is enough to move the latch. As long as the door opens away from him the door will open. He can get out of the laundry room at night if we don't lock it and he can get into my parents room. My mom goes out through the laundry room in the mornings to go to work at like 6am or something. If she doesn't remember to lock the door behind her (it's a one way lock, once locked she can't get back through) then the cat will be in my dad's face 5 minutes afterwards. The cat doesn't like being alone. He cries if my dad takes the dog outside to get the mail and he is left inside. It's so sad. Poor lonely abandoned kitty! (even if there ARE people in the room with him, daddy is giving attention to the dog instead of the cat!)

And I think that's the most interesting thing that's happened all day. The cat opening doors. That and a really nice dinner.

Wow

That was a whirlwind of a trip. I can't believe it's over already. I think part of the reason I can't accept that I'm back in the states is that I wasn't looking forward to coming back. I've spent the night here and it still doesn't feel like I'm home.

I think the main 'take home message' from my three weeks in Sweden is that I'm a bit more Swedish than I thought. I fit in, I could find food at the store, I learned to make korv storonoff from scratch, and it didn't feel like I was in another country. I figure the more Swedish I learn the more like home it will feel.

Right now I have a killer headache, so I might go lie down for awhile and type up a much longer report later. I'll edit this and add more in after a nap. *yawn*

*EDIT*

Back again! Slept for an hour, woke up with the headache still, took 2 painkillers and a whole glass of water, feel better now.

The trip back home was quite interesting, I sat next to a Swedish guy who has a girlfriend in the states. He seems to get to see her MUCH more often than I get to see David, just not fair! Then again both of them work full time so they have money to run around the world with. This guy was cool, he does contract work for Nokia or something and spends lots and lots of time in China of all places. After getting off of the 9 hour flight we wandered through customs then had pizza together. We then proceeded to spend about 2 or 3 hours walking through the ENTIRE airport, without using the tram or the moving walkways. LONG walk.

I did question him a bit on what things he had to answer to customs. They asked him the most annoying personal questions! I figure it's acceptable to ask why someone is here, how long they plan to be here, and that type of thing. But they asked him if he had a girlfriend here, if he was going to marry her, if they had spoken about marriage... I mean, wtf? How is THAT any of their business. He just answered no to everything figuring it wasn't their business. He was quite annoyed and I don't blame him! Other things someone visiting the state needs to be sure they know is the address of where they will be staying, how much money they spent on gifts/items they plan to leave in the states, etc. Otherwise it's hard to fill out the paperwork.

Oh! Funny thing, that poor guy who came all the way to the US to visit his girlfriend filled in an address of a hotel. He doesn't even get to stay with his girlfriend! *laugh* He says she still lives with her parents so she won't let him stay there! This makes me feel a bit more normal about my parents though.

I've started a list of things that I'd like to bring to Sweden that I might be able to. Things that I'd like to bring but that might be a bit impractical are my washer and dryer and dishwasher, etc. ;) Have to be a bit restrained you know. I will hopefully have some space in my luggage to bring some kitchen stuff over. Maybe a pot or a pan or a wok. I managed to leave 20 kilos of stuff (half of what I brought over) and a suitcase in Sweden! Granted most of that was presents, but I still hope that I'll have taken enough stuff over that I'll be able to bring over some less necessary items later. And if David comes over maybe he'll let me use 10 kg of his 40 with some of my junk. ;) I can always hope! I can be selfish and cheat by saying 'since I'm giving up everything to move over there, this is the least you can do!' but that would be mean. ;) I figure I'll just let him use as much as he wants, but any extra room I'm taking.

I wonder if I could actually plan things well enough that I go back to Sweden at the same time he does? That would be really cool, but probably not work. I might start looking into the prices of tickets for traveling in early to mid august sometime soon. I figure David will come visit me in mid June and leave mid July. If I work until the end of June I can maybe use some of the time David is here to plan my move a bit. I can always leave my apartment earlier than planned.

Now that my trip to Sweden is over, I feel like I've moved onto the next phase of planning and moving to Sweden! I'm still working on earning as much money as possible, but that's expected. After seeing David's kitchen and apartment I figure I might need a bit more money than planned. I could use some start up money for getting a book shelf, making the kitchen a bit more usable, buying some new things for David's room, etc. The things that I'll want. There is NO reason David or Jenny should buy things that they don't need. I need them, they should be my problem. But I fear there will be a lot of things like that. I might try to set myself up with a thousand or so SEK as start up money, perhaps more.

In Sweden!

I've been so busy the last week or so that I haven't had any time to write at all! We now have my laptop hooked up to the net though.

It's been a bit weird being in Sweden again. The weirdness is not due to things being strange, but rather them not being strange. It hardly feels like I've been gone. I feel a bit like I just slid right back into life here. People stop by and say hi, I still shop at the same grocery store, and make the same food. It's hard to believe that I've been gone for 5 or 6 months.

New Years was nice, trip was exausting, I spent time at David's summer house, travelled back to Uppsala (airplane had a flat tire so the trip took a bit longer than expected), and in general have been having a wonderful time. I STILL am not on Swedish time though. Oh, and my bike has a really bad flat tire and I've had to abandon it in town.

Here's a nice reindeer picture to make up for ignoring my blog. Enjoy!

Running low on time...

I haven't even finished packing and I will be at the airport in 12 hours. I am NOT with it today. I've managed to spend the whole day somehow. I've discovered that due to boxes of presents all of the stuff I need will not fit into my small suitcase. (The presents would take up 3/4 of the room and leave no room for things like clothes and shampoo.) I'm going to solve this by putting them into the large suitcase inside a bag. When I reach Arlanda I'll take those out and carry them through. I don't think Swedish authorities are going to protest wrapped Christmas presents in a paper bag with a handle. It will be fun meeting up with the boyfriend's roommate. I don't know where or when to meet her. I just know that sometime during the many hours I'll be at the airport she'll be there to take my large suitcase... I do have her cell number now. That should help a bit.

Why is it that when I'm pressed for time my first idea is to come blog? Maybe I should get back to packing... I haven't even poured shampoo and conditioner into the smaller bottles I use for traveling. This trip doesn't even seem real. I've looked forward to it for so long I can't believe that the time has come. The wait must be harder for David though. He doesn't even have all the hustle and bustle of getting ready and traveling to keep him occupied. He'll be playing the waiting game, not knowing where the heck I am for the next 28 and a half hours. He won't know if I made all my flights or anything. And I think there's a pretty good chance I'll miss my connection in Amsterdam. Less than an hour to get from one flight to the next. I have 5+ hours in Stockholm though. That should give me time to change out of my PJs and make myself look presentable, Swedish style. I need a bit of time to make myself look a bit less American so I don't embarrass David. I haven't had time to take my nail polish off yet either. I hope I don't freak him out too much.

Ok... NOW back to packing!

Comments

No one ever leaves comments in my blog anymore! I feel unloved! *cry* On another note almost everyone who reads my site is in either Sweden or a .net. (Which I think is me using the links on my page to find my way to other pages.)

Comment or else! *threaten*

The Real Christmas

Today felt more like Christmas to me than yesterday did. We had 17 people here. No fancy meal or anything but lots of people sitting around the snack table. There were kids running around screaming, pets underfoot, adults discussing serious type stuff. To me this was Christmas. Christmas should always have multitudes of children around. Now that I'm too old to get many toys to play with, I want to watch others play with toys. Even if the one I'm watching is my dad who stole one of the cousins remote control cars. The littlest ones were running in circle after circle along with the train. I was very surprised that nothing horrible happened to either train or child. I think I might be willing to move more of Christmas to the day after and establish a new tradition. I'd rather have family together than celebrate on a specific day. Although I think I'd still need to do something special on Christmas itself if possible.

L00T!

I feel like a pirate with the amount of loot I've acquired today. It's a bit weird knowing that I'll get even more tomorrow. Most of my 'loot' is in cash or cash-like items. Got 100 dollar debit/visa card from my mom. Got 100 dollar bill from my aunt and uncle. I got two 100 dollar checks from my grandfather, although one of them is for my birthday. I also got 600 (!!!) dollars from my grandfather for my old computer. I wanted to give him the thing for free. Finally I agreed to take 500, and he comes and gives me 600. I'm not going to complain though. The money is much needed. Besides the cash-like items I also got an MP3 player, two sweaters, two screwdrivers, an external harddrive (although I traded my old internal to my dad for it and am chipping in 40 dollars or so of my own cash), a jar of almond roca, the first three Megatokyo books, some homemade junk from my little cousins (a badly made sandart, a Christmas tree something, a small painted box, some cheap bath stuff, although to be fair the youngest is not yet 5), a hand powered flashlight, and a book on how to survive on my own. All of this and there will still be two or three presents tomorrow as well. Somehow I feel spoiled.

My mom and I are probably going shopping on Tuesday or Wednesday. Go and spend at least the 100 in debit card she gave me. It's one of those one use cards. When it's gone, the card is basically trash. I want a new pair of jeans, maybe a new sweatshirt, and perhaps a few other bits of clothes.

If I don't spend more than 500 dollars or so in Sweden during the next 3 weeks then I'll have enough money to survive 10 months or so in Sweden! *hop* That'll leave me just two months worth of expenses to earn next semester! This is getting more and more possible! If I can't stay under 4000 SEK for 3 weeks... that would be very pathetic. That's just for food, a bit of travel, and entertainment in Sweden. I REALLY should be able to stay under that! *laugh* Although if I go a bit over it'd be ok too. I might get more cash tomorrow too! We'll have to see.

Merry Christmas

I wish you a Merry Christmas! I hope that everyone gets all the presents that they wish!

Childhood memories

This year is one of the quietest Christmas Eves I've ever had. Although last year was pretty quiet too. I somehow doubt I will ever have the same Christmas Eves as I remember as a child. I remember spending the whole day writing Santa letters. One year my brother and I even went around and got writing samples from all of the adults just in case one of them was signing Santa onto the letters for us. We always left out pie crust instead of cookies. That's what we had on Christmas Eve. My grandmother would always make a bit of extra pie crust, sprinkle it with cinnamon sugar and bake it. Lovely! We don't really have that anymore since my mom doesn't make pie crust for pies by hand. It takes way too long when she's doing most of the cooking on her own. I try to help, but she always takes spoons and such away from me. I get only the simplest tasks. Mostly I just keep her company. We would also leave out carrots for Santa's reindeer. They must have been SOOO fat by the end of flying around the world and getting lots of carrots!

In the evening we would wrap the last of the presents. My grandmother always had the best of ribbons and bows and paper so some presents we would wait to wrap there. We'd get take out food for dinner because no one should do massive amounts of cooking on Christmas Eve dinner. Usually we'd get Chinese food. The women had been cooking all day for the next day's feast, they were tired and did not want to cook dinner for so many people.

My brother and I always had my grandfather's study to sleep in. It was a room attached to the living room. They would put up a brown curtain to separate it when we slept there. At night we would fall asleep to the sound of the adults talking a few rooms away, the lights of the tree shining through the curtain, and the whispers of parents putting things under the tree. That room always belonged to my brother and me. Even when there came more and more kids... that was our room. The other kids would sleep with their parents. My parents somehow also had the biggest bedroom, despite not having kids in there with them. I think part of that was that they were the oldest. They were the first married too. My dad's brother got the other guest room and his sister and her kids got to sleep on the floor of my grandmother's study. Later on my dad's brother's wife would require them to visit with her family and my uncle was often on call. They usually just showed up on Christmas day rather than on Christmas Eve.

Now it seems like everyone has their own thing going on. Someday I want to establish my own traditions. I know they'll be different from my childhood, but they'll be my own. I'll never forget the memories I had as a child, but in a way they're over. It is like the time I realized I was an adult. At the end of Christmas day I looked around and realized I did not have a single toy to play with. Everyone else had lots of toys and games and fun things. I was left with a pile of clothes and gift certificates. I must have been like 15 or 16 at the time. I was crushed. I cried, not because I didn't get lots of wonderful presents like I wanted, but because here it was, Christmas day, and I didn't have any toys. I guess we all have to grow up sometime. It always seems like it'll never happen, but when it does, it can be sad.

Tomorrow I look forward to opening my presents in the morning. No Christmas stockings, no last day of the advent calendar, just presents. There won't be lots of family everywhere, just the four of us. As much as I love my family, I wish I could be with my extended family on Christmas morning. I wish I could see the little ones open their Christmas stockings. Even though I'm too old to do it myself, I'd like to see the others happy. But, this is the way Christmas is. Perhaps next year it will be even more different. The BIG celebration of Christmas might be the day after Christmas so that my mom can host it. It might lose a bit of the magic because of not being on Christmas, but then I might be able to have my family all with me instead.

Cooking attempts

Attempts in Swedish of cooking in the US *laugh* I hope I will not have nearly so much trouble trying to make pies in Sweden after the new years! I'll be making several pumpkin pies and a pecan pie. It'll be fun! But trying to make anything there requires extensive substitutions. Today though, I'll be making these yummy things in the US so it will be much easier. I'll also have my mom's help. Pumpkin Pie, Pecan Pie, Gravy, Rolls, and whatever else my mom wants to make. We have to do all the cooking a day in advance this year. She's going to hide some of the pies at home rather than take them to the party so that we can have lots of extras. Anyways, I'm supposed to be getting ready to go help bake. Wee!

What is it about being home again...

On a completely different topic. My dad has his model train out! You should get a picture or two sometime tomorrow. Right now it's just lots of bits of metal and lots of cars lined up in a row. You have to understand, this is not a simple train set, this is Lionel. (http://www.lionelstore.com/) Lots of pieces, cars, tressles, etc. We even have a Campbell soup car! It's one of my favorites. Although I think my all time favorite as a child was the Toys R Us car with the giraffe who ducked his head under the bridges. Currently the plan is to take it around the couches in the living room, through the dining room, through the kitchen, back into the living room, and have a train yard behind the couches. It should be cool!

Lizzy

One of my closer friends when I was younger was a girl named Liz. I bet you can guess what that's short for. Elizabeth. I used to tutor her when I was a first year in highschool. She was a year younger than me. I managed to get her grades to go from below a C average to the honor roll in a semester. Mostly because I made her do her homework. We used to just sit around and talk and have fun. I haven't heard about her since her mom took her away from her dad right before highschool. She was miserable there, but it was what she had. A few years ago her dad died too. Her dad was my dad's friend so that pretty much ended our contact with that family.

Anyways, the point of all this background is that last Saturday my parents had an old office gathering. It was people who worked together years ago but are all in different places now. They always meet up each Christmas to see what's going on. Liz's older sister who is my age showed up. So my mom managed to collect all sorts of news for me. Liz got married in August this year and has a child. It was a shot-gun wedding apparently. I guess that was the responsible thing for her to do given the situation. Get married and fast. But I still have problems with seeing my little Lizzy married with kid. She's named the girl child Ariel after the mermaid.

I guess the whole point of this story was to just be amazed at how much I've grown up and my friends as well. Although sometimes I think the growing up is a bit forced after stupid choices. I wonder if she's still the bean-pole she always was?

Another busy day.

Have you ever realized how difficult it starts to be to come up with new titles? Mine are getting repetitive! Anyways, today was busy! I managed to sleep in until 8. Had breakfast, then took pictures of my mom's quilts. That took forever. I should upload them tonight but tomorrow works just as well I guess. I went into one of the larger nearby towns with my mom. It's about 45 minutes away. The police were ticketing that area like crazy! We saw 6 or 7 highway patrol cars pulling people over within 2 minutes. They're cracking down on that area since there have been 3 fatal accidents in a very small area in 2 months. We then went to my mom's sister's house and picked up some books from the porch. After that we went to the fabric store in that town and bought some material for another quilt or two. Then to K-Mart to buy tissue paper for wrapping. We also bought some stuff at Hickory Farms since it was in the same parking lot. Then back to my town and to another fabric store to look for the fabric she couldn't find at the first store. Then we ended up back home again. Carried all of our loot back into the house. I wrapped the last of my Christmas presents, including David's. I then had to help my mom find the fabric she wanted online since neither of the two stores had it. I helped make dinner, played my game for half an hour, watched football with my family while eating dinner, took a bath, and read my book. I also watched a TV show called 'Deal or No Deal' with my parents. Somehow all of that took up an entire 14 hours. I'm not quite sure how, but another day is gone! Tomorrow is cleaning day, Saturday is cooking, Sunday is Christmas, Monday is the after Christmas party. Tuesday I pack, Wednesday I leave for Sweden. Wow! When will I have time to even think?

All of this done in absolutely pouring rain. We spent the trip back home admiring the wonderful rivers and lakes that the mountains turn into after 5 days of POURING rain. The problem right now is that it's a warm rain. This means that all the rain farther up in the mountains is pouring down the hillsides rather than turning into snow to trickle down the hillside at a later date. So we have our water to deal with, and the water from higher up. If this keeps up much longer we might have flooding. I pray it doesn't end up as bad as the first year we were here... So many homes near the rivers flooded. Thankfully we used that as an opportunity to decide which house NOT to buy. Despite the fact that we have two small creeks on either side of the property, neither are large enough to flood. There is also too much of a slant to the hillside for water to pool and flood anything. Thank goodness.

On another note, less than a week until I'm in Sweden!

Another Day

I got my hair done today. I got 4 inches cut off. It seems like so much now! But it really looks much nicer. I'm hoping that with it shorter I will wear it down more often. I also no longer look like a skunk since I got it re-dyed. That took almost 3 hours of my day. The rest of the day I spent talking with my parents, working on a puzzle, and generally just relaxing. Today is my last day without my brother. My parents are going to go pick him up from school tomorrow. BLEH!

I'm not sure what the rest of my week will be spent doing... but I think some cooking, packing, etc. Perhaps I'll find time tomorrow to write in Swedish too. Especially if both of my parents are gone to pick up my brother. Maybe only one will go though.

Argh!

I just spent the day with a pair of holy terrors. Actually, one holy terror and one semi-angel. The 5 year old did nothing but whine, cry, yell at her sister, boss the little one around, and scream. The three year old basically put up with everything. Their family is going through a messy divorce right now though. The little one is daddy's favorite. It's easy to see why. The older one sat down and cried the that younger one didn't love her because the younger one was tired and didn't want to be a slave and carry things around. I think that both of them could use some attention, especially the older one. The only time the younger one cried the whole time was when her sister hit her with a stick and then the sister got upset because everyone was paying attention to the crying hurt one instead of her. I had 6 hours of that today. My mom needed my help. Because of all of this I didn't manage to get any pictures of the bunny bread. I have one bunny left. The older one ate my nice bunny though because she decided it was hers.

I got my game today but haven't had much chance to play it. I plan to a bit tonight. With all the Christmas and family stuff I feel like I'm neglecting my friends and David! I guess this is the time of year when I wish my friends were closer. Then I could do things with them. I have a hard time justifying to myself spending time in front of the computer when I could be with family in person. But at the same time I realize I need to not neglect others. Argh! Maybe I'll get the mortgage in my game paid off tonight if I work hard though?

Family Time

Sometimes it hits me like a brick. I really value traditions and a lot of others don't. To me it is extremely important to spend Christmas with my extended family. Since the death of my grandmother though I lost one of the traditionalists. My mom is the other. Perhaps come of the kids as well, but they don't get to make choices. A lot of people aren't able to make Christmas day stuff this year, so the day after Christmas my mom wants to have an informal gathering with no food, just getting together.

The final agreement was that we'd still have Christmas at my aunt's, but since she HATES cooking, my mom has to do all the cooking and preparation. Without her sister Grace this year since her boyfriend says Christmas will be with his family for once. This means my mom will be doing dinner for 10-15 people mostly by herself. My grandfather will deep fry the turkeys, but everything else she has to do. I will be VERY busy the day before Christmas making pies and during Christmas in the kitchen to help her. It is worth it to keep Christmas. Sometimes I think people forget that Christmas should be spent with as much family as you can get... and lots of little kids.

Anyways, that was yesterday. I also stayed up until midnight doing a puzzle with my dad. We realized early on that it was missing pieces because some that should be obvious we couldn't find. My mom was quilting, the cat was attacking my feet, the dog was sleeping, my dad and I were doing a puzzle. All without watching TV. I think that almost makes up for listening to my relatives play phone tag and try to get Christmas sorted out. Sometimes it's the little things that matter. Maybe next year I'll stay in Sweden for Christmas if people can't agree on what to do for Christmas!

Christmas Progress

Well, I've wrapped half of the Christmas presents that are going to Sweden now. I've also almost finished putting David's present together. Took me forever to find where my mom put the double stick tape. I knew she had some because I bought it for her. My dad and I searched all the drawers, checked with her quilting supplies, checked with the art supplies. When my mom got home we asked her where it was. The car. What the heck? Oh well. I spent most of the evening sticking my fingers to each other rather than sticking things to each other like I was supposed to be.

I bet after that paragraph David is really confused about what his present will be!

I'm at my parents place now. I got a Christmas card from David. My 2nd Christmas card of the year! My brother got one from my grandfather. I didn't. Which is strange because I sent my grandfather a card and my brother didn't! *laugh* Not that my grandfather is great at Christmas cards. It just says 'Grandpa' inside after the prewritten text.

My Animal Crossing: Wild World game arrived today. Not that it does me any good since I don't have the system yet! That won't be here until Monday because I don't think UPS delivers on Sunday. I might go check their website just in case though.

My dad and I booted up my old computer, it works nicely. We put the new hard drive into it too. I should get a good 400 dollars for it after subtracting the harddrive price.

I should go update my Swedish blog... but I'm tired. Right now I think I will go wrap more presents then maybe take a long bath. My parents want me to put a log on the fire sometime this evening too. They're at a Christmas party. My brother will be home Wednesday. I'll wrap all of their presents before they come home I think. Then I won't have to try and be sneaky. Being sneaky can be hard when you're so proud of what you've bought that you want to tell someone! I'm not even sure who all reads this thing anymore, so I can't list any Christmas presents on here now! *laugh*

Another nice evening.

I'm having another nice evening. I'm sitting around with my roommate cleaning. He's actually helped me a fair amount. A few friends might show up later. I think his cleaning spree has ended though. He's watching TV on his computer now while drinking. The bathroom is now clean. I've mostly cleaned my room. I just need to take the luggage out, pack up my computer, and wipe some surfaces off. I still have some bathroom stuff to pack into my luggage too. The living room is mostly picked up. It needs vacuuming like the rest of the apartment. The kitchen needs the counters wiped off and dishes washed, maybe sweep the floor. Have a bit of trash to take out too. The guest room is doing well too. My roommate looked in earlier and went WOW! You can see the floor! I'm like, yea, because I just spent the last hour cleaning it!

Tomorrow morning I head back to my parents' town. I guess it's my hometown, but sometimes it's hard to think of it that way. I spend so little time there anymore. I guess it's a sign of growing up. My apartment doesn't feel like home either. I almost feel homeless. They say home is where the heart is, but I've not been stationary enough in the past few years for me to feel like my heart is any home. Even when I go stay in Sweden with David it will be in an apartment I've never seen before.

My packing is mostly done now. I have Christmas presents packed and clothes. I still have my toothbrush and such that I still plan to use. I've washed my towels and tomorrow morning I will stick around here long enough to wash my sheets and fold them. I want to come back to this apartment in late January and just make the bed with nice clean sheets, put my stuff away, and be happy. I don't want to come back to a dirty apartment. That's the last thing anyone wants at the end of a stressful trip home. I'll be missing David a lot then too. I won't need the added stress of a messy place. Anyone think of anything else I might forget? Now is the time to tell me! Although I guess I could drive back to my apartment anytime next week that I feel like killing 4 hours.

Nice evening.

My developing countries econ class met at the pizza place in town after the final. The professor showed up and bought us pizza. (3 pizzas! So probably about 45 dollars worth.) We bought him lots of beer. I think our table went through about 8 or 9 pitchers of beer. Another professor showed up and bought us two pitchers of beer too. I bought one of the pitchers even though I wasn't drinking since I don't like beer. We played pool, my team won all three games. It's not even 10pm yet and I'm home. It was nice to start early, I do better with parties like that. We had pizza at about 4:30. We actually got a pool table as soon as we showed up at the bar too. (we went over about 8:30 or so. My professor says not to worry about the exam. That's good since I wrote on one of them 'This wasn't in the book!' and there were only 6 problems!

Oh, I received a REALLY cool Christmas card in the mail today. From David's mom. It made me smile so much. I'll have to look up a few of the Swedish words, but wow! The only Christmas card I got this year! Weee!

I'm completely done with finals now too and tomorrow is my last day of work for 5 weeks. This makes me happy. :)

New Idea?

Well... how does this plan look? The picture to the right is what I currently have this semester. You can see there's a BIG change in the number of hours I'll be working and in class. I'm wondering if 17 hours is too many? I think I could handle it. Maybe instead of officially setting those as my hours I'll work 15 and then maybe show up early on Tuesday if I am not too tired and maybe stay that extra hour on Fridays if I'm busy. I just know that this semester has been hard on me. Next semester I'll be working at least 50% more hours. I could fit many more hours into there, but I'm having a hard enough time this term! Next term will be worse! But the extra money... mmmm...

Lots of nothing

I am tired, too tired to think really. I've been sitting in front of my computer for the last two hours and haven't done anything. I keep thinking of all of the things that I should do. I have only one more exam. Tomorrow I will spend all day studying for it. I think my boss wishes that I would work next week. But since the office is closed and he won't be working... I don't feel that guilty. I need to decide tomorrow how many hours of work I should do a week next semester. I'm thinking 15, although I could add in more. If I felt very crazy, I could work more than 20 hours a week. I think that might be too much though. 18 hours a week might also be a bit much.

I am sitting here looking at when my classes are and how early I want to get up. I have to plan in lunch and dinner breaks too. The big change compared to this semester is that more of my classes are at night. This means that I have mornings free. Here's what my schedule next semester looks like... when should I work? This plan gives me 18 hours of work. I could open up a morning or two by dropping to 16 or 14 hours. I could also give up lunch breaks if I felt like really abusing myself. And perhaps lose that dinner break on Monday nights? I think 18 hours will be my max though. Any better ideas? The yellow blocks are working, the white block are open for whatever, and the green blocks are classes. I've decided not to add any more classes in. It might be nice though to have a Tuesday or Thursday free. Requirements here are that I have at least half an hour between work and starting class and at least 15 minutes after class to get to work. Work can only take place between 8-5. I must work at least 2 hours in a row. Anyone have any better ideas for arranging this? If I want to go home for lunch rather than bringing my lunch to work I need at least an hour.

It would be really nice to have sleep in days though.

New Calculations!

You guys know how much I love to calculate things out! Now that I earn more each hour, time to redo my income estimates for next semester.

If I work 15 hours a week next semester from the end of January through the middle of June, I can do quite well. These new calculations assume that I don't take spring break off of work. I work my usual 15 hours that week. Realistically I'll probably work more if there is more work available. I didn't take into account holidays or days when I work longer to finish things up or show up early. It'll probably end up being more than this. Especially since I might get another small promotion during that time. I figure I have about 24 weeks of work left.

That means at 15 hours a week, for 24 weeks, for 9 dollars an hour... I'll earn 3240 before taxes. I'll probably end up giving about a third of that or so to my mom in living expenses though. I guess I can estimate on having another 2000 or so into my bank account by the end of next semester. That's about another 3 months worth of living expenses! If everything goes right, I'll still have only 9 or 10 months of living expenses. I'd better pray that I get into that Master's Program!

Ok, back to bed now that the cold medicine has kicked in and I can breath again.

12.5% More in Each and Every Bottle!

Well, ok, it isn't a bottle. It's per hour. I got my very first raise ever today. My pay increases by 12.5%. Which is also known as a dollar an hour more. To celebrate I think I will order myself a new toy online today. My mom is also going to give me 100 dollars for my birthday. She says that if I don't want to save it for Sweden that's my choice and she thinks it's good to spend money on myself sometimes. So tonight I will look everywhere online to find my new Nintendo DS and the Animal Crossing: Wild Wilderness game thingie I want.

The pay increase went in today, right before time cards were due, so I will get the increased pay for all hours since the first of the month. This is a nice Christmas bonus. Also, the increase was not a normal time increase, it was merit based. I am a very happy, soon-to-be Swede!

Present for myself?

I've decided that if my grandfather ends up buying my computer for more than 400 USD, then I'll buy myself a Nintendo DS. I'll use the money I get for my birthday for the Animal Crossing game I want, or just ask my mom to buy it. The system is 130 USD and the game is about 35 USD. A bit expensive... but sometimes I want/need new things!
I finished my 4th final, only one more to go. Tonight after work I'm going to make tacos to make up for not remembering to eat much the last few days.

I still have lots of cleaning to do before Saturday/Sunday when I leave for my parents. Going to have to bring lots of things to my parents place too. All my Sweden stuff, clothes, computer equipment, stuff my mom asked to see, and anything like textbooks that I don't want at my apartment anymore. Also need to bring blankets and pillows since there isn't any at home. I stole most of them because I was freezing.

Weee! Semester is /so/ close to being over and soon I will be in Sweden!

Post 101

Well, this means I have over 100 posts now. I've been busy all weekend. Almost no free time at all! I don't know if the rest of the week is going to magically have time either. Good news is that I have three finals over and only two to go. I think I'm doing ok, but not sure. Definitely got B's or better on the two I took today, not sure if I have A's though.

I returned several books. Got 82 dollars, which I'll give to my mom. She bought the books, only fair that she get the money when I sell them back to the school bookstore. There was one of mine they won't buy back because they have a new edition. I know that there are two more that they won't buy back as well. BLEH! Hundreds of dollars on books each term and I get so little back. Only reason I got so much back with those books is because one of mine was worth 65 dollars by itself. The other 4 weren't worth that much.

I've fallen behind on my Swedish writing too... but it's almost excusable with final studying. Yesterday I made myself a long list of school work and of housework. Anytime I wasn't doing school work I had to be doing housework. I actually got a fair bit done. Kitchen was clean yesterday, did laundry, cooked and ate two meals, took a shower, and partially cleaned my room. I also read 8 chapters and studied a lot.

For the rest of today I will study for tomorrow's final, clean house more, go to a study session, and maybe find time to take a nap. Someone needs to rescue me from me. I've also been reading a bit more about Animal Crossing for the Nintendo DS. I think it'd be a lot of fun, but not enough of my friends have it to make it much fun. I wonder if it has a playable single player mode.

Adventurous Day

Today has been busy and quite stressful. I got up at 7, took a shower, studied a bit, went back to bed around 9. Woke up at 10.45, got ready for school, left home at 11.30. Got to school around 11.45. From 12-1 I told a kid about Sweden who goes there in the spring. Then from 1-1.45 I had pizza paid for by the international office. From 2-4 I had a study group for anthropology. Around 4.15 I went and picked up a cake pan I left at a friends place a few weeks ago, then went shopping. I got home a bit after 5 and made food while getting ready for the party. I realized I didn't have wrapping paper for my present so I made my own. Computer paper with some red and green lines drawn on it. Inside my box I had a cake... but it required some assembly (ok, so it was a mix, frosting, sprinkles, 3 eggs, and a stick of butter).

Here comes the fun part. I didn't have the address for the party. I'm sitting in my car with the food and the present and no idea where to go. I don't have anyone's cell phone number either and don't really know my co-workers last names since I call them by their first names. I ended up driving around for awhile. Came home twice during the hour and 15 minutes or so. Then I figured out what to do. I found one of my co-workers last names... called his dad who was listed in the phone book, and got the cell number. Then I could call and get directions. I knew my co-worker had a dad who worked in the anthropology department, so I just did a search on each of the guys last names until I found a student with the same last name AND the first name I wanted. Then looked up that last name in the phone book, luckily there was only one with that name. His dad laughed at me when I explained my situation.

I ended up making it to the party, an hour and a half late. It was only a 3 hour party! That was ok though, it was plenty long for me. I still got to eat food, open presents, and play pictionary. My team won. I got to bring home a snow globe. It plays music and makes me happy. I'm very glad I found the place. My co-workers were drunk. A quote from the receptionist who is old enough easily to be my grandmother... "Rum is bad at my age, it makes for naked." I leave you with that wonderful thought.

Oh, and I got to talk to a slightly drunk David, I hope he doesn't think I didn't want to talk to him. I was on the phone figuring out where to go when he messaged me and wanted to leave for the party.

And the weekend is here

Well, the weekend is here and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I'd like some time to destress, but I think I should clean and study too. I have a lot going on this weekend. Two study sessions, an office party, and something for the study abroad office.

I can tell I'm stressed because I'm always tired, my face is breaking out and peeling (how weird is that), and for some reason my jaw has decided it will not open. The jaw is the most worrying. I'm hoping that by Monday it'll function normally again. I had to trade my tootsieroll pop to a girl in class in exchange for skittles. Skittles I can fit between my teeth. I can eat just fine and it doesn't hurt unless I put my fingers in my mouth and try to force my jaw open. I've been doing that on and off trying to increase the flexibility a bit. It seems to be helping. I can open my jaw more now before it stops.

I'm going to have to do laundry this weekend if I want clean clothes for finals week too. I'm planning on working 16 hours next week, which should be plenty with all of the studying I need to do.

OH! And my grandfather might buy my old computer off of me. That'd let me get a hundred or two hundred dollars into my bank account. I also got paid today. This makes me feel partially rich. Except that I donated 50 dollars to aardwolf last night.

This will be a somewhat boring weekend too... David and Jonas are gone to a weekend drinking festival. I'm a bit jealous. I wish I had time and money to just take off and go drinking with friends. If wishes were fishes I'd take up commercial fishing.

Almost over!

I have only one more lecture, four finals, two teacher sponsored study sessions, and two group study sessions before the semester is over. I have 4 hours of work tomorrow, then 3 hours on Tuesday, 6 on Wednesday, and 6 on Friday. After that I will have 5 weeks with no school! I plan to spend the time productively. Spend time with my family, work on my application to Uppsala, and work on my Swedish. I'm especially worried about my writing sample for my application. I need to spend some time going through all my old writing assignments and deciding which, if any are good enough for all of my hopes to ride on. I might have to take an old one and increase it substantially. I don't have anything that can compete with a C-uppsatz though.

I've decided to spend the next week cleaning out my freezer. This means eating lots of muffins, meat, pasta, etc. If I leave for 5 weeks I'd really love to just turn off the fridge and freezer and leave the doors open. I also want to have my apartment spotlessly clean before I leave... not much chance of that happening though. Might make some agreements with my roommate. I don't know when I'll head to my parents. I'm thinking maybe Saturday morning or Sunday morning. I might spend a day by myself just relaxing and cleaning. That way I'm not rushed Friday night/Saturday morning with packing and stuff.

Tonight I will have real noodles (no ramen), broccoli, and some beef. It will all be tossed in some sauce of some sort.

I might end up buying some tomato sauce or some taco fixings for next week to use up everything that I have in my freezer.

Need to go shopping this weekend too because I have to bring some stuff to the office Christmas party. A side dish... maybe I can make up a rice, veggie type dish that won't be too bad. Hmmm.

Bleh!

I'm tired of being tired! I don't suppose that makes much sense, but for some reason I am always tired right now. I think the stress from the rest of the year is building. I would like some days where all I do is sleep for a week straight.

I spent last night studying with my study group and by myself. I worked for two hours on the exam I have today and the rest of the time on other classes. Last thing I did before bed was study and the first thing this morning as well. Thankfully this is my LAST 8am class. And next semester I don't have any. Originally I was thinking to go in at 8am on the days next week that I don't have class... but now I'm thinking I might be a bit happier if instead I went into work at 10am. Gave myself a bit of a reward. It'll mean less money. I'll have to decide if 16 dollars rates higher than 2 extra hours of sleep in time.

At least my exam today should be easy. I wish I could say the same about the rest of them! And tomorrow! I sleep until 10! My first class is cancelled so I don't have to be up and about until right before my 11am class. Hooray!

Rewards?

Should a kid get fancy toys just because all of their friends have fancy toys?
Should good grades be rewarded?
What are the pros and cons to buying a kid anything that you wish you had when you were a kid?

I have a lot of opinions on these things. I don't think that a kid needs something just because all of their friends have it. If they want something cool, offer them a trade. Well, we could buy you this, but would you do this many hours of work around the house first? That way they get a sense of accomplishment. If the hours don't get accomplished, they don't get the toy.

Good grades should be rewarded. Grades don't have to be perfect, just good. It can be a reward for working hard, even if the grades aren't perfect. Otherwise, what incentives does a child have to do well in school. They have to give up their free time for what? For some intangible benefits that they don't understand? I think they need something that they can see. And the reward should not be given if the kid doesn't at least try.

Kids are not objects. They are not to be used to show off how much money a parent has. I hated when all I was, was an object my dad could brag about. See what my daughter has, see her perfect grades, see her a cheerleader. I was happy to be appreciated, but when I wasn't perfect, I just got in trouble. I wanted to be appreciated even when I wasn't perfect. If you want a fancy toy, buy it for yourself, you had to earn the money for it. Your kid doesn't need more toys than they know what to do with, just so mommy or daddy can brag about what nice things there are.

If you have an agreement with someone, adult or child that they do a certain thing and they get a certain reward... under NO circumstance should that reward be given if the thing was not done. Otherwise how will they learn that hard work has rewards? When I really wanted to buy a special doll when I was a child (still have the doll) my mom helped me earn the money. She gave me tasks to do with a certain amount of cash reward. It took me forever to save up the 100 dollars I needed. My mom kindly paid taxes and shipping. But I value that doll a LOT more because I know how much work I had to do to get it. I had to give up playing with my friends sometimes to help clean. I couldn't buy candy or other small things that I wanted. It required sacrifice.

I guess I sound like a lunatic... but somehow I don't like the kids who are sitting in the middle of a room filled with toys saying that they're bored. I also don't like perfectly good children/adults who don't know how to work hard to accomplish things because no one ever taught them to work. I guess that's the American in me showing through. I tend to blame a lot of the lack of success of some people on a 'flawed character' model. Or lack of a good work-ethic.

Who reads this thing anyways?

I know I have two readers for sure. Are there any lurkers out there I'm not aware of? Are you stalking me! (joking) But if you do read this sucker even occasionally, post me a comment so that I can feel special and loved. Which I know I am even without you posting a comment cause I have David and who wouldn't feel special with him around?

no topic?

I can't think of an interesting topic today. I don't even really know what I'm going to type about. I'm tired as usual. Ran 1.5 miles today... or roughly 2400 meters. Without stopping. I'm rather proud of myself. Took me 15 minutes and 9 seconds. I used to be able to run a full mile in half that time! Ick! But it was a long run and I stayed at a pretty constant speed throughout. Took me about 2 minutes 30 seconds per lap. I'm going to skip aerobics on Thursday because it's not actual aerobics, just fitness testing and I don't need to show up to pass.

My office now has a space heater that hangs out behind my desk. I don't know if my office can really be called MY office since it's mostly the main room with 3 desks and 3 smaller offices off of it. The receptionist is in the office on the other side of the hall. Don't have to go through my office to get to her. Does that count for anything? My boss complimented me on my good work last week. My precious pivot charts. Although he has given permission to the assistant director to kidnap me to do boring stuff for the next 2 weeks. Ick! I will be able to work extra hours next week though. Finals schedule gives me free time. Once I decide when I'll work I'll post my 'new life' for next week.

I'm not feeling too stressed about exams yet. I'm sure that will come. My first final will be the day after tomorrow. It should be the easiest of my exams and its the only one I have a study group for. I spoke to that professor about non economic stuff, or vaguely economic stuff for a half hour in his office today. I went in with some questions and we just kept talking until it was time for class.

I still haven't heard back from Uppsala yet about if I can apply or not. I'm starting to get worried! Maybe though Ulla just had to go look something up? Or maybe she was away today. I've started collecting stuff in a suitcase to go back to my parents house and eventually to Sweden. Just presents for people, cake mixes, etc.

That was a very wandering, no topic post. :P

Have you ever noticed...

... that if you post more than one entry at a time, no one reads/comments on the entries below the first one? Even if they might be more interesting? ;)

Life Plans! (If everything goes right)

Current plans!

Now until the end of 2005... survive finals, score perfect on all of them, sail through Christmas with everyone loving the presents I carefully chose for them, get all of my Christmas wishes granted, even those outrageously expensive ones, fly to Sweden, enjoy a nice new years party.

Jan 2006 - Celebrate my birthday, finish up my application for Sweden. Transcript will be set to send itself as soon as its ready. Enjoy Sweden. Relax. Towards the end of the month fly back to the states in time for school and start work again.

Feb 2006 - Have my application completely done, amaze the wonderful people at Uppsala University with my amazing grades and wonderful written work sample. (ACK! I need to find a written work sample!) Do well in school while working 15+ hours a week.

May 2006 - Graduate with honors, be accepted into the masters program I want, work, relax.

June 2006 - Swedish friends should all come visit me now. We'll explore California and whatever else is within driving distance.

July 2006 - Lease ends on the last day of the month, any Swedish friends still around will be forced into helping me move. mwahahaha?

August 2006 - Fly to Sweden in time to start my school program, visit with David's parents for awhile, relax a bit before a hard semester. Also time to enroll in SFI if I can do that while studying.

September 2006 onwards... study lots and lots! Learn to speak Swedish perfectly and sound like a native (although keeping a cute accept is also a possibly as long as it's cute and not stupid.)

May 2007 - Finish my masters program then start freaking out with what to do for the rest of my life.... that isn't that far away....

Links

Here's just a collection of links that I think are cool for figuring out what the heck I want to do with myself next year.

Master's Courses Taught in English
Different list - don't know why they have more than one
Overview of my first choice program
Details of my first choice
Overview of my 2nd choice program
Details of my 2nd choice - don't exist because the website has broken links
Application information - I can apply online apparently, but they don't ask for much information... so I guess I'll be spending a small fortune on stamps, or else hand delivering things when I get to Sweden.


I think I'm more likely to get into my first choice though. I'm hoping my grades translate well into the Swedish system! I showed them to David, he thinks I have a chance. It's interesting because a C in Sweden is a G which my home university makes into a B... which going back to Sweden somehow turns into a VG I believe. Or something equivalent to that. Strange eh?

I am on track to graduate. Spoke to the evaluations office today and they say I'm good with the classes I'm taking next semester, I just need to pass them. I've been on the Dean's list 2 of my 3 years so far. That requires a 3.5 GPA or better to do. The two semesters I wasn't on the list? My year in Sweden! And I didn't miss it by that much either.

I'll post another post tonight with my new and updated goals for the future... instead of sleeping like I should be. Blogger broke today so I didn't get this posted earlier. I was annoyed because I wanted lots of people to share my joy in being able to apply! People's lives should revolve around me! David was happily around, he knows his place! (that and he's just a nice person)

HAPPY!

There is a possibility that I will be able to apply for the fall semester's master program! I found a small exception to the rules of having a degree in hand.

"However, for EU/EES citizens in their last semester/term of study, some exceptions can be made. If you are a citizen of the EU or an EES country and therefore not in need of a student visa to Sweden, your transcripts must show that you only have one semester/term left to complete your degree and that a degree can be submitted before the MasterÂ’s programme begins in August. The transcripts must correspond to at least 100 Swedish credits and that one semester/term is required to complete a degree." http://info.uu.se/fakta.nsf/sidor/questions..idB8.html#feb1

So...Using my Irish citizenship I won't need a visa. This means that I should be able to apply for the fall! This will be good because then I will stay on my mom's insurance and I'll get mom money for next year. That will decrease a lot of the worry I have right now of being able to afford food and rent. I'll have health insurance and money! What more could a girl want? (I mean, besides the things that I already have like a sot boyfriend and underbara friends!

I am having some problems with my university though. The transcript they send out does not have my expected graduation date. They will not add it on there even in pen though because they don't want to alter transcripts in any way. They won't even enclose another document saying when my expected graduation date is. There is one other document I can get from them that they are willing to send separately that states my expected graduation date, but it doesn't say that I filed or am actually going to graduate on that date. I'm hoping they won't look too closely and will just assume that I will graduate.

I will see if Peter can help me a bit with this thing sometime this week.

On a positive note, I have turned in today my last assignment for the semester. All I have to do now is survive the exams. I should speak to my boss tomorrow about what days to work during finals week. We have a different class schedule during that time.

Wish me luck everyone with convincing Chico and Uppsala that they love me!

Productive! (for once)

I actually accomplished a lot this weekend. I created study guides for 3 classes. They aren't 100% done yet, but they're as done as they can get without checking with my classmates and getting the other lectures. I did my class project for political science too. I bought my brother's Christmas present and went to best buy to pick up David's DVD's and Peter's camera case. I did the dishes and bought more food for my kitchen.

I bought the stuff I need to make pumpkin pie which will be Jenny's Christmas present. She'll know about it in advance though since I was informed that unless I brought pumpkin pie I wasn't welcome. So I bought the evaporated milk and the can of pumpkin mush. The other stuff I should be able to get in Sweden. I also bought two cake mixes, two containers of frosting, and a small jar of sprinkles. Those are for my two birthday parties I'm going to have in January. I'm starting to get such a large collection of things to take to Sweden I wonder if I can fit them all into my suitcase. My list is getting pretty long now. I'll add what I can remember at the end of this post. David's mom got the Christmas card I sent her and was apparently quite pleased with it. That makes me glad. What is the fun of sending out cards if people aren't happy to get them? If I am feeling REALLY productive tonight I might even locate the floor of my room. You know, put the clothes away and my books back on the shelves.

THE LIST!
Stuff to leave:
cat ears + tail
books for David (have about 12 of them and they're BIG)
any winter clothes I won't need in the states anymore
maybe some of my cool Christmas decorations that my mom doesn't want anymore
bottle of booze
Christmas presents (not going to say who is getting what since I'm not really sure who reads this anymore!)
DVD's
camera case
pumpkin pie stuff
cake stuff
perhaps an American medicine kit so that I'll have proper cold medicine next winter
And I'm sure lots of other things that I've forgotten!

And this is on top of all the things I'm bringing there that I"m going to bring back to the states like clothes, my medicine kit, shoes, etc!

Test!

You are all to take this test and report back to me the 4 letter code you get! It is listed above the graph as something like I+9 N+20 F+20 P+20! Feel free to read the descriptions at the end and change your mind about what you are compared to what the test says you are! I want people to post what they are.

http://keirsey.com/swd.html

I am an ISFJ I think. I used to be an INFJ but I've changed since highschool I think. Learned to look at things in a different way.

Highschool me: http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html
Now me: http://www.typelogic.com/isfj.html

Those who know me, does that seem right? Try changing the letter around and see if you find something that is more you!
I - E (I people get energy from being by themselves, E people from being with others)
N -S (I can't remember)
F - T (Do you make decisions based on logic (T) and this is the way it is or based on feelings (F), this person needs it most)
J - P (J people like schedules and plans, P people like to keep options open)

Excel Fun!

Excel can do wonderful things!

Weekend!

Woohoo! It's Friday! Done with work and school until Monday at 9am! Next week I have my first final... on Thursday. Next week is really just my last week of classes before finals, but one of my professors rightly believes that we will have too much stress in finals week so he's giving the final earlier. This weekend is going to hopefully be spent studying a lot. I have a long todo list before finals week.

Work, Wealth, and Income Distribution
*Read 5 chapters
*Finish Study guide
*Exam THIS Thursday at 9:30am

Environmental Economics
*Read 4 chapters
*Exam next

Economics of Developing Countries
*Read chapters 12 & 14
*Look at study guide (will hopefully get on Tuesday)
*Read chapters again
*Read chapters a third time
*Exam next Thursday 2-4pm. (REALLY need A on final and haven't done anything all semester)

Politics of California
*Read chapters
*Do study guide
*Do project due THIS Friday
*Exam next Monday 12-2pm (C+ on final to get an A-, B+ on final to get an A)

Anthropology
*Read chapters
*Read chapters again
*Go to lab this Wednesday and ace quiz.
*Exam next (REALLY need an A on the final here too if I want an A in the class)

Somehow I doubt I'll even make a dent on everything I'm supposed to do before finals... before the finals! But David has a hemtenta (take home exam) for the next week, so that should free up some of my time to study... if I actually can force myself to!

On a completely different topic... I have an interesting learning curve. It took me 4+ hours to do the first of two basically identical projects (just different data because it's for two different hospitals). The second one I put together in 40 minutes. I now understand pivot tables in Excel. They're actually quite interesting. You know you enjoy your work when you come home and want to play with things such as Pivot tables... AFTER work on Friday! Maybe a nice room with padded walls would be good for me? All of this studying and stress has obviously gone to my head.

My day!

My day was pretty uneventful. It's rainy, windy, and cold here. If I have to put up with bad weather, it could at least look pretty. It is so windy that the roads, sidewalks, and bike paths are littered with sticks which have fallen from the trees. Sometimes whole branches are on the ground. I know they haven't been there long because they aren't broken up like they'd be if cars had run over them a few times.

I have an office Christmas party coming up on the 10th. There will be alcohol and my boss says that the two stuffy old ladies really know how to party. *giggle* I'll have to bring a present. I'm not sure what to buy that's around $10 that'd be acceptable for a work party. I've been told to bring my spouse and children. *rolls her eyes* I think I'll show up by myself. It's only a few streets over so if I get bored I can head home early. I probably won't drink while I'm there. I would rather my coworkers think nicely of me!

I spent money again today. I realized I had some 50+ dollars in my wallet since my brother paid me in cash for alcohol and for Christmas presents which I bought. So I went out and bought Chinese food for dinner. It's silly, but I spent all day looking forward to this. I am now the temporarily proud owner of lemon chicken, broccoli beef, chicken chow mein, and some steamed rice. I should have enough for several days so the 20 dollars is well spent I think! I've barely put a dent into the food and I had a very large plateful! Some days I just really crave good food that I don't have to cook. Somehow it is hard to put effort into cooking when the only one I'm cooking for is myself.

I'd also like to note that my bathroom is larger than my kitchen.

How much is a child worth?

As is becoming usual today, you'll get two posts, one that is about something I've been thinking about and one that's about what my life is like. Joy!

Here is a quote from my textbook on "The Economics of Poverty and Discrimination."

"In California, for example, the poorest elementary school district had only $15,500 of assessed property per pupil in 1997. The richest district had over $47 million of property per pupil!"

The thing that makes this particularly troublesome is the fact that schools in California are funded in a large part by local property taxes. The Federal government supplied 8%, the State supplied 48% and the rest of school funding is from the local government. If you are a child in a rich school district, you will have better education. Schools also tend to be built around neighborhoods... which for the most part means around income levels. If you're rich, you live in a nice neighborhood with other rich people. If you are poor, you live among other poor people. This means that a poor child is likely to get a lower quality of education, when that is the child that needs it the most!

Those who are in rich school districts though are not likely to want to have the poor in their district! It dilutes the benefit that their children receive from someone who can't contribute their 'own share.'

I think that one of the better solutions would be to take funding of schools away from the local governments. Property taxes should be paid to the state for the most part rather than the local. The money can then be divided equally up between all students and schools in the state. The ones who will protest the most? The rich who are probably sending their kids to expensive private schools anyways. I lucked out and got a pretty well off school district. But this fact is just staggering. Is a rich child worth more than a poor? This information seems to say so!

Conversation with a friend

One of my idiot highschool classmates (K.) managed to get herself knocked up and married. She was already having problems with the guy. What's worse is that I think K. did it on purpose. I was talking with another of my friends and we had a long discussion involving girls (and sometimes guys) who think that a marriage ring and/or a child will magically fix any relationship problem. Hello! Kids just make relationships worse! They are an added stress, if you already can't get along, a kid isn't going to bring you closer together, it's going to drive both of you insane. Plus it really isn't fair to the child to be brought up in that sort of situation. That baby isn't going to fix K.'s relationship. It isn't going to make the guy magically like her. Neither the ring nor the baby is going to make him stick around if he was thinking about breaking up with her before she got knocked up. Stupidity all around.

Annoying thing number 5678... girls who have babies because 'no one loves them.' The baby of course will love her. *sarcasm* If you don't love yourself, no one else will love you. Not the baby, not the guy three times your age you had sex with, not even your mom who ends up caring for the kid. Any girl who thinks that way need major mental help.

This side rant was brought to you by K.'s stupidity and my nice conversation with a friend today.

Another note, they've discovered that the majority of teen mothers are not ruining their lives because they didn't really have a life to look forward to anyways. 10 years down the road studies which compare teenage moms with their sisters discover that they're all in the same income bracket. Why put off having a kid if it isn't going to make a difference in your perspective opportunities anyways? Perhaps instead of trying to prevent pregnancies we could work on the poverty issue. Preventing poverty might prevent pregnancies more than preventing pregnancies prevents poverty. (did that make sense?)

Eiii! The Real World Waits! (not MTV version)

Every now and then it hits me... very very soon I will be graduated and completely responsible for myself. I'll have to have my own health insurance, my own dental insurance, pay my own rent, etc. I'm 21, soon to be 22, and yet my parents have always paid my rent and helped me with my bills, if not paid all of them. I mean, I don't even own my car or pay insurance on it. I have a feeling that if I wasn't leaving the states these things would be transferred over to me. It feels like a lot of sudden responsibility. I know my parents would still help out if I got stuck, but once I'm done with school I should be able to support myself. I just have no idea how!

How do people suddenly go from mommy money into completely surviving on their own? It isn't like there is an intermediate step for me. I never even had government money. I never see my rent money, it's sent in a direct check in 6 month blocks to my landlords. I barely manage anything of importance. My idea of managing finances is to watch my online account drop steadily from the first of the month until I get another transfer at the beginning of the next month. I guess the closest I've ever come to managing on my own was in Sweden. I had to figure out exchange rates, compensate for the fact I wasn't getting enough money to even meet the minimum immigration requirements, work, AND pay my own rent... but all out of mommy money. And if I got stuck, I could write to her and say 'mommy... I'm having problems.'

I had to do that at the beginning of this year. I couldn't stay in budget, just couldn't. I finally calculated out how much electricity, gas, and internet were, then realized I wasn't getting enough money just for food each day. I wonder if I'll have to consider that next year. My budget for next year gives me 2000 for food, bus passes, shampoo, etc. That's roughly 65 SEK a day for food. It doesn't quite seem like so much when I break it down like that. I guess the thing to remember is that I won't be paying for each meal separately. A bag of pasta is good for several meals and is quite cheap. Rice is almost the same. Falukorv doesn't cost much. I'll just have to stick to the cheap food and maybe see if I can afford some nice veggies in there somewhere.

I'm going to have so much stuff to worry about on my own! I'll have to actually plan ahead and think! The future is scary, but perhaps it is welcoming too? It is the next big adventure... a very delayed entry into adulthood. (Perhaps that's one of the reasons I liked Sweden so much, I was able and perhaps forced, to make my own decisions and survive on my own... mostly.)